When we go to a fancy electronics store & buy a superb product, it comes with an instruction manual. What I don’t understand is that women have been giving birth for centuries but no one has ever thought of writing down all the good & bad things that will happen after a baby is born. Hypothetically speaking, if such a manual ever existed, it would probably look like this:
Problem: New born won’t stop crying
Step 1: It is possible that the baby is hungry. Try & feed the baby. Also, remember to burp the baby after the feed (see section on burping, Page no Xx)
Step 2: The baby might be wet or may have pooped. Use wet wipes to clean the baby & put on a fresh diaper (see section on changing diaper, Page no **)
Step 3: The baby might be sleepy or may want physical touch. Pick up the baby & try singing a lullaby or rock the baby.
Get the drift? Believe me; it would be so amazing if someone told to be mothers what is coming their way & how to deal with it.
When you first return from the hospital, you will think you’re going to know but, reality is quite different. So, with the benefit of first time hindsight here’s parenting advice I wish I would have received…things no one ever tells you, the ugly truth:
You will know what real pain is
Every freaking muscle in your body will hurt. If you’ve had a normal delivery, you will realize that the pain doesn’t end there. It kind of re-distributes itself through your whole body. A couple of days later after my son was born, I thought my arms will fall off from lifting the new baby all the time & my back will probably break in half. My experienced mother hired a masseuse who did a splendid job. She would give me & the baby a massage for 90 minutes every day for two months. I would recommend every new mother who has had a normal or a C- section to hire a lady masseuse to help relax your muscles.
Every new parent is clueless at first
Some people might look like they were born to be parents but, the truth is no freaking person has an idea how to care for a new born. They all learn on the job & so will you. It might take you five or ten minutes to get your baby in a diaper at first but soon it won’t take more than a minute or two.
It does get easier
I remember feeling like everything is so difficult to do when my son was born. It seemed like I would need to do just about everything with one hand. I remember brushing my teeth, eating, cleaning table tops, reaching for things & so much more with just one hand. Luckily we are programmed in such a way that if need arises one can learn to function with a single hand, at least a majority of things.
Do whatever makes life easy
Don’t feel shy to ask parents, in-laws or relatives to help out in the initial few months. If you can get a full time help, that will be pretty great too. Try & make simple & easy to cook food & don’t worry about keeping the house spick & span. Take the time to rest while someone else has offered to look after your little one or is sleeping other than cleaning. Also, learn to delegate work.
The sudden gush of emotions
You will feel happy & proud to see your little one. But the smallest thing can make you sad, angry & just so many other emotions. Post delivery certain hormones are triggered that will make you so emotional. Luckily, it will fade away in two to three weeks time.
You won’t ever feel ‘normal’ anytime soon
There’s lot of talk about things being normal after you’ve had your baby. But trust me; if normal to you means, sleeping till almost noon on weekends or late night parties with friends or being lazy & just being a couch potato, you will not be doing any of these things for months or even years. The good part is, you will find a whole new ‘normal’. You will learn to still have fun but maybe in a different kinda way!
There will a few embarrassing moments
There is a possibility that your boobs may leak when you’re outside the house which can be quite embarrassing in public. So, I would suggest you to stock up on disposable/re-usable breast pads. After the baby is born, the new mommy can experience a lot of gas (probably more than during the pregnancy) which is another thing a lady can feel embarrassed about. You will be so sleep deprived that you will enter a room & forget what you had to do. I remember feeling like I had lost a piece of my brain probably during delivering my son.
There will be bad days, but loads of good one too
You will go through days when the world might seem like its coming to an end. It may feel like nothing is going right. I remember seeing my son crying & feeling so helpless I would start crying too. But, you will have loads of great days coming your way too. You will see your baby smile at you or you will get five hours of sleep & feel like you’re on top of the world & feel like you can do this!
Being a mom probably the toughest yet the most under-rated job in the world. However, the benefits of being a mom are pretty awesome too. So, if you are a first time mommy, do not worry about being unaware or ignorant about most things because, you will learn a lot on the job while taking care of your little one. Also, just keep your eyes and ears open for advice and suggestions from your relatives & friends & keep reading for more information & good tips.
This post has been contributed by Aanchal Goel. She is an interior designer by profession and comes from a family of doctors. She is mum to an adorable 1 year old.